Improving Relationships
& Communication

Helping you build relationship with yourself and with others.
You may have found yourself here if...
  • You are struggling in your romantic and interpersonal relationships with your loved ones, families and friends
  • There has been a loss of connection in your relationships with others
  • You are feeling insecure in your relationships
  • You are having difficulty being vulnerable and intimate with your partner, leaving you unable to open up
  • It has been difficult for you to set boundaries in relationships and with others 
  • You have difficulty saying “no,” being a people pleaser and often take on more than you’re responsible in relationship and at work
  • You are stuck in a codependent relationship and unable to break away from that negative pattern
  • You feel responsible for everyone else’s wellbeing at the expense of your own and losing touch with yourself and needs in that process
 
Experiencing all of the above can often leave you feeling helpless, stuck, and dissatisfied in your relationships. Read on to see if my counselling services might be a good fit for you.
How we are in current relationships is largely influenced by our childhood upbringing and our past relationships. Two most common issues in relationships are: (1) being co-dependent and anxious; or (2) being dismissive, avoidant and shutting down. 
 
Major conflicts tends to arise when two of these styles co-exist in a relationship.
If you are highly dependent and anxious in your relationships, you may be struggling with the following:
  • Not having a voice and constantly putting others’ needs before your own
  • Difficulty saying “no” and difficulty accepting and setting boundaries
  • You may appear needy, clingy and dependent on partner and others
  • You are unable to feel connected to yourself, which then leads to poor communication and difficulty expressing your needs
  • Over time, your sense of self-worth and self-esteem is affected which further perpetuates dependency in a co-dependent relationship
  • An important element of co-dependency is when you feel responsible for others and the need to want to take care of everyone else. This tendency and pattern often stem from your childhood relationship with your parents
 
On the other hand, if you are someone who prefers to be alone, highly independent, and keeps to yourself, you may be struggling with the following:
  • Difficulty opening up to loved ones and being emotionally vulnerable with others
  • Easy to emotionally shut down, dismissive, avoidant and keeping loved ones at an arms length
  • Feeling unfulfilled and “stuck” in relationships, and trying to find ways to get out of relationships
  • Difficulty committing to long-term relationships or moving from one relationship to another
  • Having trouble understanding your own feelings and often avoiding difficult emotions
  • Over time, this reduces your confidence in advocating for yourself and speaking up in relationships, and avoiding difficult conversations or conflicts. This can lead to putting people or your partner at an arms length, and become emotionally dismissive or shutting-down
 
An important thing to remember is that our current relationships – romantic or not, can be understood and made sense of by looking at our attachment style. Our attachment style is developed based on our interactions and relationship with our primary caregivers in childhood. 
I make space for you to understand your unhelpful patterns that stem from childhood upbringing and see how they are played out in your current relationships. With new insights and reflections into yourself, you are then able to make changes within yourself and in your relationships.
Our work together in therapy is to better understand our patterns, tendencies and fears that stem from our childhood and how it affects us now in adulthood relationships.
 
Learning to hear your own needs and having a voice to express them will help you build boundaries, confidence and self-esteem. Different perspectives and difficult conversations will teach us to confront and tolerate uncomfortable emotions that you are so used to avoiding.
 
Through that understanding, we hold space for deep reflections and insights that will further bring change into yourself and eventually your relationships. We must first build our relationship with self before we can effect change in our relationship with others.
If you are ready to start your journey to healing your relationships, please reach out and book your free 20-minute consultation.
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My experience with working through relationship issues
While my work is primarily with individuals, relationship and communication issues often come up in most of my sessions. This is because when someone has low self-worth, have social anxiety or feeling insecure about themselves, these are often projected into our relationships with romantic partners, family members and friends.
 
I use attachment theory and lens to help identify patterns and tendencies that come up in relationships and then address these patterns in session to help make a shift. Additionally, the focus is also on (re)building relationship with self, which will help improve confidence and in turn increase your ability to either set healthy boundaries where necessary and enhance your communication as you learn to express your needs more frequently.
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Book a free 20-minute virtual or phone call with me.

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